Why do I like to date older people?.
im not sure myself.
is it because I like mature people? well maybe that too even though im not that mature myself.
Or maybe because i think that they're not indecisive..but no they are too even adults are like kids. Other reason might be because i idolized my papa for so long that im trying to find someone like him. Its possible.
Or its not just the age, maybe its just because of the person. Someone who makes me feel secure, who is reasonable and not swayed by emotion alone. Probably.
Someone who realize and accepts the things that i lack and makes me fix those things without shoving it at my face.
I have little understanding of emotions, so instead of being sympathizing with that person id rather ask and make sense of why that person is how they're feeling at the moment and break it all up and see if its worth to actually exert energy on feeling for that person.
These kind of times when my brain is just overloaded with stuff that i cant even sort out what its all about, i wish Hugo is still around.
Hugo is this person that i can just sit with and talk to for hours about everything and anything. He doesn't judge but he does have opinion in most things. He was the first person who told me that, my smile was stupid but he doesn't mind, in German. Lol. Weird yes. Quickly saying that it was not flirting but merely saying what is in his mind. I found that amusing.
thinking of the past eh..?
There was a point that he had in a way confessed to me and at that time we felt like we were in love with each other. Crazy. Maybe. But he believes in having a soul mate, and that he had found one already. Lol. He already have a partner which is his soul mate too. That time we both question ourselves. Why we're attracted to each other, why he seek me when his soul mate is right by his side, why even then I cant forget the past and still want to stay besides him. Perhaps we're sick. lol.
Maybe it was the moment. Or my mind is still of a kid wanting to hold onto any warmth my hands can reach. But then again at that time i was a kid. Curious and Curious. In the end we left it as just a feeling between close brothers. Love that was there but wont happen eh?
They moved back to Germany though. Only gotten some emails here and there. Seems like they've been doing well. I wish them good luck.
Ive been thinking of the past a lot these days. Feels like im going to die soon at times like this, thinking of the good times then comes the bad ones. Nah, I wont die until I made even a one shot manga. And of course finishing my games collection which might..well take forever. Lol.
Forever is a long time right?....
im not sure myself.
is it because I like mature people? well maybe that too even though im not that mature myself.
Or maybe because i think that they're not indecisive..but no they are too even adults are like kids. Other reason might be because i idolized my papa for so long that im trying to find someone like him. Its possible.
Or its not just the age, maybe its just because of the person. Someone who makes me feel secure, who is reasonable and not swayed by emotion alone. Probably.
Someone who realize and accepts the things that i lack and makes me fix those things without shoving it at my face.
I have little understanding of emotions, so instead of being sympathizing with that person id rather ask and make sense of why that person is how they're feeling at the moment and break it all up and see if its worth to actually exert energy on feeling for that person.
These kind of times when my brain is just overloaded with stuff that i cant even sort out what its all about, i wish Hugo is still around.
Hugo is this person that i can just sit with and talk to for hours about everything and anything. He doesn't judge but he does have opinion in most things. He was the first person who told me that, my smile was stupid but he doesn't mind, in German. Lol. Weird yes. Quickly saying that it was not flirting but merely saying what is in his mind. I found that amusing.
thinking of the past eh..?
There was a point that he had in a way confessed to me and at that time we felt like we were in love with each other. Crazy. Maybe. But he believes in having a soul mate, and that he had found one already. Lol. He already have a partner which is his soul mate too. That time we both question ourselves. Why we're attracted to each other, why he seek me when his soul mate is right by his side, why even then I cant forget the past and still want to stay besides him. Perhaps we're sick. lol.
Maybe it was the moment. Or my mind is still of a kid wanting to hold onto any warmth my hands can reach. But then again at that time i was a kid. Curious and Curious. In the end we left it as just a feeling between close brothers. Love that was there but wont happen eh?
They moved back to Germany though. Only gotten some emails here and there. Seems like they've been doing well. I wish them good luck.
Ive been thinking of the past a lot these days. Feels like im going to die soon at times like this, thinking of the good times then comes the bad ones. Nah, I wont die until I made even a one shot manga. And of course finishing my games collection which might..well take forever. Lol.
Forever is a long time right?....
